I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. It has been a very strange and painful time and I just wanted to hide myself away for a minute. Now I finally feel like I’m coming out of the darkness so I wanted to share some thoughts about my day.
It was beautiful in LA today. A perfect day to spend by the pool at my apartment complex. I invited my friend Kim and her daughter Sydney to come and join me and we made a day of it.
First let me tell you about the unicorn we call Sydney. She is a special little lady. Special in so many ways. But I will tell you this…she has this ability to make me so unbelievably happy and calm. She greeted me with the loudest “Ray Ray” that you could imagine, followed by a giant hug and snuggle. Her energy and constant awareness of what’s going on around her can’t help but make you be completely in the moment with her. You are forced to me mindful.
And her mom. My friend, sister, confidant Kim. We have the kind of friendship that as women I think we are always looking for. She gets me in a way that no one else really does. She is there when I need to cry to her and she knows that there are times that I might pull away and need to retreat and she lets me. Then we come back together and we talk it through. She helps me see myself in a way that is sometimes very difficult for me to see. I borrow strength from her on the daily (she is a total badass warrior momma) Kim is the type of person who would do anything for you and she has always been there for me when I have needed her.
We spent the day doing a little grocery shop together which was so much fun…then some serious play time with Baylee…a short snuggle while watching a show in my bed…followed by a serious pool session with snacks and laughs. I am amazed at the things that come out of Sydney’s mouth sometimes. She is so understanding, so empathetic, and so loving. I watched her with Kim when they were in the pool together and at one point Sydney just wanted Kim to hold her and rock her and she nuzzled under her neck. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.
Getting out in the fresh air with people I love and swimming was so healing for me today. A little part of my heart is a little less broken then it was yesterday.
So to Kim and Syd…thank you…for helping me heal.