A thought about imagining a new life…

So I am at a stage in my life where things are changing pretty dramatically. I think about what my life is going to be like moving foward and some days it’s really exciting, then there are other days where it scares the sh!t out of me.

Real talk. In September of 2018 my whole world came crashing down around me like a dam breaking. My husband of 6 years and best friend of 10 years told me he didn’t want to be married anymore and wanted a divorce. It came as a huge shock and for the first week after it happened I couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t get out of bed. The sadness overwhelmed me.

The past few months have been really hard. There is such a sense of loss. One day I had a partner in life, someone who I shared everything with and who knows me better than anyone. Then the next day all of that is gone.

Fast forward to now. We have been trying to work things through in a civil manner to have some semblance of a friendship when all is said and done. I really thought we would be one of those couples that could be friends after a divorce. But as time has gone on that seems to be something that is just not going to be possible. There is too much hurt and too much anger.

I sit here today writing this and I am still in disbelief that this is what our relationship came to. But this is where we are. This is where I am. On my good days I can see the path out of this mess and on my bad days a snuggle with my puppy, coffee with a friend, working out or just sitting in front of the tv decompressing is enough to keep me going.

I know that all is going to be okay. That I am going to be ok. That when the hurt subsided and the anger lessens I will be ok.

Fuck that!!! I’m going to be even better.

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