Over the past two years there have been a lot of scary moments in my life.
I’m not going to list them all here but sufficed to say they were damn scary.
I am now facing another scary moment tomorrow.
I have an appointment with my surgeon at UCLA. I have felt a few small lumps in my left breast that weren’t there before. Keep in mind I have little to no tissue after my double mastectomy so I never really thought I would be feeling lumps and bumps anymore.
This has brought up a lot of fear. It could be nothing. It could be the implant is leaking. It could be that more of my own tissue was left and there is something there.
What happens these days when I am faced with scary moments is a process.
First I pinch my hand to snap me back to the present. Then comes the deep breaths. Then comes the calm.
I have repeated this so many times in the past few weeks waiting for this appointment and will keep doing it.
Staying in the present is the only way to keep moving. Looking to the past and all the scary things that have happened isn’t going to help in the now and looking to the future to the what ifs is also not going to help me in this present moment. All I can do is deal with the right here and now.
Scary moments will come and go throughout our lifetime so should we dwell on those moments or move through them?
I say LET’S KEEP IT MOVING!!