I woke up today, worked out and really felt great. As the day has gone on I have had a sadness that seems to be lingering. I will admit that I do have some challenges going on right now.
I will be making some pretty major changes in my life over the next few months and dealing with lingering health stuff from my surgery so it’s definitely scary and sad at the same time.
I was talking to a girlfriend last night and told her that I wished I could just fast forward to the end of the year and skip all the messiness. That I felt like there was nothing to look forward to this year. Since I can’t do that, I’m going to try (one day at a time) to be kind to myself. To do things and make plans that I CAN look forward to. I’m going to listen to my body and mind very carefully to NOT overdo it. I’m going to surround myself with people who will be there when I need to have a good cry and call me out on my shit when it’s needed. I’m going to snuggle my dog more. I’m going to drink hot chocolate (with marshmallows). I’m NOT going to throw a pity party for myself. I’m going to read more and watch less tv (that’s a hard one)
It might sound like these are New Year’s resolutions, but they aren’t. They are going to be the way I make it through all the messiness to the other side and finally feel the sense of relief I have been longing for.